Listening When the Body Speaks
A story of losing — and rediscovering — the body’s quiet wisdom
This piece reflects how Focusing—and compassion‑based soul care using Internal Family Systems—helped me rebuild trust with my body during illness and midlife transition. I share it as a lived account of listening when the body speaks.
When the Body Feels Like a Stranger
Long COVID and late perimenopause arrived together, creating a collision of health challenges with few established treatments and little medical guidance. The uncertainty was overwhelming, and I often felt disoriented, as though the ground beneath me had shifted.
At times, it seemed as if my body had betrayed me. I lost faith in my resilience, and frustration, distrust, and anger began to take root. I withdrew from myself, turning away from the sensations that once felt like valuable signals. Instead, I experienced them as disruptive threats, undermining my sense of stability and control.
My inner critic grew louder during this period, unearthing long‑buried childhood trauma. The intensity of these emotions made it difficult to remain present, and for a time, I lived at a distance from my own body, afraid of what it might reveal.
Practice Becomes a Lifeline
During this turmoil, I was learning Focusing. What had begun as practice soon became something far more essential. It offered patience when I had none, care when I felt abandoned, and a way of staying with what seemed unbearable.
As Joan Klagsbrun often reminds us, “the body knows the way.” That phrase became a touchstone for me, a reminder that even in illness, there was guidance available if I could learn to listen.
Focusing became a lifeline, a steady companion during one of the most difficult transitions of my life.
Rebuilding Trust
Over the course of four years, Focusing helped me rebuild contact with my body. The process was slow and gentle, but it allowed me to shift from fighting illness to working with it.
I began to see my body not as an adversary but as a source of wisdom. This change in perspective altered everything. I could approach healthcare providers with greater confidence, advocate for myself more clearly, and recognize what my body truly needed.
A Body That Speaks
Through Focusing, I came to understand that the body has its own awareness, its own feelings, and even its own point of view. This was true not only for the body as a whole but also for its individual parts—my skin, my digestive tract, my knees, my lungs, even my cells.
Katherine Kehoe points out that the body is not merely a passive vessel but carries its own wisdom. Hearing that affirmed what I was beginning to experience: each part of me had something to say, if I could approach it with curiosity.
Learning to listen transformed how I related to my body. It bridged the gap between discomfort and trust. I discovered that while I was fine in many ways, my joints, muscles, and cells were suffering. Through Focusing, I found ways to communicate with them, uncover their needs, and begin the healing process.
Companionship Matters
Perhaps even more profound was the realization that I did not have to navigate this alone. Focusing Partners—others who were also living with illness, perimenopause, and menopause—appeared, offering companionship and shared insight.
Partnerships provided a supportive space for deepening the practice. They reminded me that healing is relational, that connection itself carries energy. Whether practiced alone or with a partner, Focusing revealed a sense of living‑forward movement, a subtle but powerful reminder that change is always possible.
Compassion‑Based Soul Care
Alongside Focusing, I found support in compassion‑based soul care using Internal Family Systems. This approach helped me meet the different “parts” of myself—the critic, the fearful child, the exhausted caregiver—with curiosity and kindness.
One moment stands out. My inner critic had grown harsh, insisting I was weak and failing. Through IFS, I was able to pause and meet that voice as a part of me rather than the whole of me. I asked what it was protecting. Slowly, I realized it carried the fear of being dismissed or overlooked, a fear rooted in childhood. Meeting it with compassion softened its grip.
IFS gave me language for these inner voices and a way to hold them with care rather than resistance. Together, Focusing and IFS created a practice of listening that was both embodied and relational, helping me restore trust in myself from the inside out.
Living Forward
As my health gradually improved, I noticed a shift in my practice. There was a new spaciousness, a way of holding space for myself that required no effort, no “doing.”
It was simply being with what was unfolding, trusting that even in illness and transition, there was a way forward.
Closing Reflection
Illness and midlife transitions can make the body feel like an enemy. For me, Focusing—and compassion‑based soul care using Internal Family Systems—became the way back. Together, they helped me reclaim my body as an ally, a source of wisdom, and a partner in healing.
They taught me that listening matters. That companionship matters. Even in the hardest transitions, the body carries knowledge worth trusting.
And that wisdom is always waiting to be heard.
Publication Note
This reflection is adapted from my publication in Presence: An International Journal of Spiritual Direction + Companionship (SDI, Vol. 31.2, October 2025, pp. 112–125, “A Midlife Journey with Focusing and Spiritual Companionship.”).
About the Author
I’m Simone, a midlife doula and systems thinking tinkerer who listens at the edges— thresholds, liminal spaces, and prototype technology. Trained first as an engineering geologist, I worked on oil rigs and projects globally before turning toward studying, and now writing about embodied discernment, living systems, and presence. Also: unapologetic cat lover. More of my work lives here: simoneislistening.com/blog.